THAT THEY’RE NOT TRYING
BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW IF THEY’RE TRYING OR NOT
JUST BECAUSE IT DOESN’T LIVE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE NOT TRYING
i love how the two most cited love stories of all time are romeo & juliet and titanic and they both involve teenagers who knew each other for less than a week
and Leonardo DiCaprio played the male lead in both them.
Without winning an oscar for either
somehow we always end up here
So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
NICK P L E A S E
if anyone ever tells you you can’t do the thing because you’re a woman just innocently ask “so?”
keep repeating the question till they come up blank.
do the thing.
- me: mom... dad... im g-
- parents: gay?
- me: going into battle and i need only your strongest potions
me 11:59 September 30th
me 12:00 October 1st
it’s not even october and 90% of tumblr is like the second gif
I found out santa wasnt real because I got a spy kit that christmas so i fingerprinted my mom and matched it to the fingerprints i dusted on the milk mug i left out… Im on that next level shit
what if childbirth is just the pain of the 9 periods you missed
and all this time i thought it was the baby ripping through your vagina